DutchInLaw

Our lives are made In these small hours These little wonders, These twists & turns of fate Time falls away, But these small hours, These small hours still remain -Rob Thomas I'm sitting on the kitchen floor with my toddler. Lasagna is in the oven and we're licking the sauce pot. Soon he'll be off to play with blocks or demolish a pile of laundry, but for now, it's perfect. It's the kind of homey relaxed moment I want my life to be filled with as a mama. There are a lot of those moments in my days and weeks. But there are also other moments that are everything but homey or relaxed. And who takes photos of the tough times, or talks about those tear-my-hair-out and we-may-never-have-another-kid moments?

I'm a member of a Rotterdam expatriates Facebook group. It's a great place for discussions on Dutch culture,  travel tips, and articles on parenting.  Today a parent referred to James Dobson's attitude that sleepovers should be discouraged for safety reasons. Not surprisingly, other parents commented with their own opinions, and it turned into a fascinating discussion. Is the discouraging of sleepovers just f ear-mongering? Or a good policy for concerned parents in today's world? Some people responded to the post in just a few words, while others wrote long replies . Here's mine. As expats, we're already creating a different-than-average life for ourselves and our children. We question educational methods, the price of renting-vs-buying, and the safety of biking in the city. Then we decide what is right for our own families. Why not question the value of sleepovers?

He makes a little chirping noise to let me know he's done with his morning milk. Once he has my attention, and I'm not looking at my phone or eReader, he pushes the empty bottle out of the way and squirms into a more comfortable position on my lap. There he cuddles quietly against me for 2.5 seconds. Then he dives, face first, off my lap. He speed crawls towards the window and spends the next minute patting the glass and making sure the neighborhood is safe. Then he crawls away for the next adventure.

The problem with having a six month old baby is you can't really justify buying certain toys for them now.... Like Star Wars Lego sets. Or Christmas countdown trees of boxes to fill with mini-suprises. Or Nativity scenes with little figures. And yes, I did stand there and try to figure out how long before he could (safely) enjoy them. And whether the fact that they were on sale would help in the justifying process. I finally, regretfully, put the boxes down and managed to leave the store without anything more exciting than ziploc bags and frozen green beans. On the bright side, Pippin has gotten some fantastic toys for Christmas and his half-birthday.  Like a Noah's Ark with soft little figures to hug and squeeze. Like a toolset that he can chew on and we can pretend to saw off toes with. And a too-cute hedgehog named Chester who rolls up into a pouch and is not prickly at all. There will be enough time later for Lego and toy food, God willing. We even ha...

** Note: This was a tricky post for me to write. Including this note, hesitating between typing 'Please don't be offended by this post' and 'This is what is on my mind so it would be dishonest for me to pretend it isn't.' So now you know. Challenging post ahead. ** Yesterday, while running errands, I stopped in front of a window display in an otherwise vacant store. On a platform was the largest and most intricate Nativity scene I had ever seen. There was a castle tower with the Wise Men and a camel emerging, a courtyard with a well and humble shepherds and sheep. An angel and stars hung above the stable roof, where Baby Jesus spread open friendly arms and the visitors (and sheep) climbed a few stairs to greet him.... And on the windowsill below the scene were a few Buddha statues and a lost angel or two. Welcome to Rotterdam, I thought, and snapped some photos.   As a kid, I read the book "You Can Change the World." It was about praying for d...