DutchInLaw

He makes a little chirping noise to let me know he's done with his morning milk. Once he has my attention, and I'm not looking at my phone or eReader, he pushes the empty bottle out of the way and squirms into a more comfortable position on my lap. There he cuddles quietly against me for 2.5 seconds. Then he dives, face first, off my lap. He speed crawls towards the window and spends the next minute patting the glass and making sure the neighborhood is safe. Then he crawls away for the next adventure.

This month some of my family are coming to visit (so exciting!), which means that I get to show them around my DutchInLaw life. It would be fascinating to introduce them to more DutchInLaws – foreigners married to Dutch spouses – because everyone has a different way of interacting with Dutch culture. This is mine. There's the inside world: I drink tea, read and write, and take care of my little family. There's the outside world: I bike around town, have coffee with friends, and take Pippin to the shops and the library.

My husband is standing at the counter, trying to peel off a sticky shell. "You didn't scare the eggs? I'm losing half of it," he says.

Pink and white trees are blooming all over Rotterdam. Pippin and I have been to parks twice in the last week and played on the swings and slides. The sun shines through the windows and has coaxed me to pull out some Tshirts and shorts. Not long ago, my sister sent me a link on capsule wardrobes. A few days later, my mom sent me the same link. And then a few days after that, a friend messaged me with " Random question: do you do a capsule wardrobe? " Either spring fever is in the air or they've all been conspiring together. Maybe both.

Since we've had a baby, I've become very aware of the next-door-neighbor-through-the-wall. Since he's in the next building over, we don't see him in our stairwell and say hi. We don't know his name or whether he has a significant other. We just know that there's a good chance that our crying baby bothers him and that his loud music definitely bothers us. When someone is faceless it's easy to reject them. To sigh in frustration, make snarky comments about their music taste or laughter, and yet be uncomfortably conscious that we might be annoying them too. To grumble about the parties they throw and yet never actually get to know what sort of person they are. On Saturday I met our neighbor.

One of my favorite websites for eco-friendly living is One Small Act . I discovered it when my life went through a makeover in October 2012 – new house, new city. I started chasing minimalism and conscious consumerism. I blogged about the start of the journey here . Did I have any idea how the journey would unfold, or the friends I would "click" with? I doubt it. But I'm glad I started down that road. "Recycle a piece of cardboard" It's interesting to look back at how much I didn't know then about eco-friendly living. My family had always been frugal. My mom can stretch a grocery budget further than anyone I know, and my dad was always the one to explain how solar panels or cycling crops worked. And of course I knew how to recycle, compost, and use up leftovers. But I had never really thought about the chemicals in shampoo and makeup. Or what made Fair Trade food fair. And I hadn't known that there were other "normal" people like me...

Poster for sale. Inspiration for free. "Be yourself, don't try to be normal." Good thought for those of us who never totally fit in.

Instagram. The virtual home of hipsters who drink organic green smoothies, display nail art and Crossfit abs, and spend hours writing songs in Starbucks. Since I do none of the above, I obviously do not belong on Instagram. Or so I thought.

One Foot in Both Worlds "Meet Lee, an expat who lives with her husband and baby in Rotterdam, in the Netherlands....." Read more here at  expatwoman.com

A Hungarian Poster "Study the language. The language is key to the culture. This doesn't, however, mean you have to attend class (thank goodness). Just turning on the radio is a big help - you'll become familiar with the speech patterns/intonations/dialects, the popular music, and what's going on in society. You can also watch movies in the language (especially with subtitles), take up a hobby outside the home, or get a language buddy. Then, of course, there's the Internet - podcasts, language websites, and online forums. If you enjoy classroom learning, there are classes at different language levels....." I'm drafting my response to interview questions on an expat site. Some of my answer I've already put into my draft of DutchInLaw, the book. It's fun to think through, but I feel like I'm missing some of the answer because it has been so long ago that I first set foot on Dutch soil. And the way I look at language learning as a 29 year o...

When I go on errands with Pippin, certain moments occur. And repeat. Often. So much so that I decided to note them here.   Start Line.  This is a 15-25 minute period in which we get ready. I dress Pippin, check the weather (see below), re-dress Pippin to suit the weather, find my own jacket, collect any articles that need returned, pause to give Pippin a drink or a snack, hunt for any receipts needed, put on Pippin's jacket and his shoes, pause to put a water bottle and a snack in my own bag, find his pacifier in case we run into his naptime.... Ever heard the phrase, "Slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter?" That would describe us.  Weather Report.  This is the part where I read online that it's going to storm, and then there proceeds to be gorgeous sunshine as Pippin and I get outside. Or I read that there will be sun and it rains as soon as we step out the door. Sometimes there's even hail. 

Somewhere I have a photo of an over-full sock drawer. Or I might have deleted it because it was just too demotivating. Instead you get a picture of shoes of me and one of the sock owners. It so happened that I spent nearly a year as a nanny for three adorable little girls. We had lots of fun together, and the photo is from a day when we all went to the park to feed ducks. The thing about going on an adventure is that you generally have to wear shoes.

You become a mother, and you start looking around at other mothers who are doing it better. They make all the baby food from scratch. Create fantastic, imagination-stimulating nurseries in coordinating colours. Maybe even sew baby clothes from organic cotton.  A feeling of inferiority sets in. It's known in modern terms as "mommy guilt." Based on the amount of magazine articles, blogs, and web pages it's hugely prevalent. The cure, if there is one, seems to just be to remind yourself that you're doing the best you can for your child. And that all the other mothers are doing the same thing, so it's not worth comparing. Do what you can and don't worry about the rest. If you want to get better, take baby steps - don't give up just because you're still in progress. Enough is enough for now. 

One of the things I noticed while I continue my house hunt is that I'm very focused on us and on what we want.  Is there a garden for me? A play place for Pippin? Room for a workbench for Faramir? Can we all enjoy our hobbies and follow our passions? Is the neighborhood safe for us? Can I go running and not be paranoid? Can Pippin go out to play at a park when he's older?

Some days, being a stay-at-home-mom bothers me.  Some days I miss being able to just escape the house without having to bring extra diapers, an increasingly heavy Pippin, and a carrier or buggy. Some days I miss being able to move around the house and make noise without having to take naps into account.

I was reading "Insurgent" today, after having seen "Divergent" last summer. Both are treasures. I love it when books and films leave me wondering about a new angle on my own life. Taking the aptitude test online, I wasn't surprised to see that I'd fall under the Divergents as well, instead of fitting into one of the normal factions. My answers were a mix of Amity ('I am Peaceful'), Erudite ('I am Intelligent') - and then either Dauntless ('I am Brave') or Abnegation ('I am Selfless') as a third. Taking a few more quizzes, for fun, led to the same result, or when 'Divergent' wasn't a permutation, I would get the other answers; Candor ('I am Honest') was the only faction that wouldn't welcome me, apparently. Amity and Erudite were the highest, but what really made me stop to think was that things have changed in the last few years.

From this... to this. From this... to this. My kitchen will be so much tidier now. And the Het Goed 2nd hand store should be rather pleased (I hope) when they sort through the stuff we brought them. Stuff that we have appreciated, and enjoyed, and are now ready to pass on to someone else who will use it more than we do. Storage issues and moving possibilities aside, it bothers me when we hold on to things that we don't use. My ever-patient husband is great at reminding me to stop and consider whether we need something before I buy it on a whim ("I think you need a lightsaber") or toss it on a whim ("It's summer - let's get rid of the fat scarves.") I'm good at questioning whether we need to keep certain things that rarely get used in our lifestyle. Vases? Ice skates? File binders? Some things go in a give-away pile; some stay but get better organised. Meanwhile, Faramir and I sit together on the couch in the...

Last week I wrote about when logic and frustration came together sweetly... and I replaced all of our mugs . I'm starting to give our bowls the Stink Eye this week. And I spent about an hour yesterday washing and inventorying all our baby bottles and parts. There's something immensely satisfying about actually taking action on a frustrating area of life. No matter how small. And I know in the grand scheme of things it. does. not. matter. that we have mismatched bowls and mugs. If we lived in a seaside cottage or sprawling farmhouse, I think it would be great fun to have whimsical mugs and cups and bowls that visitors would choose favourites from. When I visit my parents' house, I recognise the special mugs that my uncle sent to my brothers about ten years ago. The mugs sit next to The Cup that my mum has measured out ingredients in for her (famous) homemade biscuits for the last fifteen or so years. And there are new little mugs and bowls that they have picked up on trav...

The problem with having a six month old baby is you can't really justify buying certain toys for them now.... Like Star Wars Lego sets. Or Christmas countdown trees of boxes to fill with mini-suprises. Or Nativity scenes with little figures. And yes, I did stand there and try to figure out how long before he could (safely) enjoy them. And whether the fact that they were on sale would help in the justifying process. I finally, regretfully, put the boxes down and managed to leave the store without anything more exciting than ziploc bags and frozen green beans. On the bright side, Pippin has gotten some fantastic toys for Christmas and his half-birthday.  Like a Noah's Ark with soft little figures to hug and squeeze. Like a toolset that he can chew on and we can pretend to saw off toes with. And a too-cute hedgehog named Chester who rolls up into a pouch and is not prickly at all. There will be enough time later for Lego and toy food, God willing. We even ha...