Thursday, September 15, 2011

Pull Pull Snip

So many other things to do - practice Taekwando, clean house, e-mail family members spread across the world, get ready for lunch at the school I volunteer at... and instead I'm playing with my plants again. Went out to water my geraniums this morning (the ones we 'live behind') and stopped to pull out some of the old growth... 20 minutes later I finished with the plants inside the house too, thinking busily. I pulled out handfuls and handfuls of yellowed leaves and old blossoms from plants that looked otherwise so healthy... how much is that like my life?

Weeds are pretty obvious - they don't belong in plant pots or in life. Rude comments, bad behaviour. Fairly easy to see in yourself, not to mention that other people tend to point them out too :P ) But what about the tiny tiny little things? The little darting thoughts like, " I have so much more style than she does" or an extra 15 minutes wasted on a random Web site or impatience with how long it takes to become fluent in a language. It's not like anyone can see what I'm thinking, or what I do with my time when I'm at home alone. But that doesn't mean I'm pouring all my energy and time into good growth, new leaves and blossoms. It's easy to look at my poor plants and laugh - why don't they put all that green energy from tasty soil and fresh water to good use? Silly geraniums and herbs for sending out unnecessary sprouts, for starting new leaves so far underneath the plant that there's no way they'll get sunshine. I'll just have to pull out the sprouts and leaves anyway = what a waste.

Pull pull snip. Another handful of dead leaves that I'm holding, and suddenly seeing my own silly habits. All the times I bike long distances through the rain and pity myself for sore muscles instead of just pushing on. Beating myself up for not keeping up contact with my friends (but then not doing anything about it.) Having regrets about not doing more with photos or video making - a huge part of my old life - but not making time to create. Like our pastor said last Sunday, if you talk about doing something but don't, "je houd jezelf voor de gek." In loose translation, you make a fool of yourself. Which is exactly what my plants do, poor things :D Someone should set them a good example by putting energy into where it matters and *blossoming.*

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