Sunday, April 27, 2014

Long Long Day

Exhausted this afternoon. Biked relatively quickly this morning to ch and back, had fun subbing with the 0-3 class, and made french toast for lunch around 2 once we got home.... And then crashed on the couch for the next several hours. Dozed off while leaning against D, then eventually sat up to do some transcribing - something at least mildly productive with my afternoon. Got hit by another wave of tiredness and had to lie back down for a bit. I had asked if D would cook if I peeled the potatoes, and then realised that even that was almost more than I could handle, so he's doing everything.... So grateful for him. 

Hoping to be in bed by 9 tonight, because while I'm used to the general tiredness, this is full body tiredness as though I'd been lifting weights or running 5Ks. And all I've done is bike today, and walk about 4k yesterday with D, and then random around house stuff. Well, and I swept the house today and that left me breathing hard too. Friday I biked to the hospital and back, and then to babysit and back. So I guess there's been exertion, but I have a hard time accepting that that may just be too much at this point for me. And that 7-8 hours is maybe not enough sleep at this point either. So somehow I need to learn to take it easier....

Encouraging bit from another pregnancy blog post
"Our house is operating under a Priority Policy-- if it must get done it will; if not, it won't. The harder side of letting it be has really been saying no." Grateful for the reminder that it's ok to be less than productive and for the house to be less than clean. To slow down without feeling guilt. Hopefully I can remember that for the next 10ish weeks..... 

So nice to hang out with the little ones today, holding tiny T and smiling over at chubby H-J... that'll be us soon! Rocking a sleepy baby on my shoulder as they suck their thumb...  keeping an eye on little bodies rolling over or reaching for toys. Good to have the reminder that it won't all be sleep deprivation and a messy house and colic for the first year :) I know there's going to be a mix of happy and hard times, but sometimes it's easier to focus on all the challenges and how I can prepare for them ahead of time. And then on days like today, I'm just reminded in a concrete way how precious babies are and how much love we'll have for ours :)

Friday, April 18, 2014

Stiffness and Questions

Stiff and sore again on waking. My goodness. But I managed to sleep from about 11 to 5, so that was progress. And then lay awake about half an hour, then slept til 8... then slept another half hour and then woke up, albeit grudgingly and slightly grumpily. Wondering how anyone lasts through 9 months of pregnancy, especially if they already have children. After a cuddle and some croissants and coffee, the day became tolerably decent. Found out that Cyprus was dropping their 'Iron Curtain' over the Easter weekend, which makes me happy. Lovely to read positive headlines instead of the constant war, debt, doom ones. 

D turned on jazz music, which led to us following a link to - World Food Programme - and discussing adding that to our charity list. And then talking about whether we'd ever move overseas and do something hands on like planting gardens or building things, or teach ESL. What would be practical given our education? What would be the drive that would get us there - for a year of adventure in a new country with our little one(s), or a need to help people?

No answers at this time. Just cranberry juice and sunshine and a relaxing Easter weekend ahead.... And hopefully naps and yoga for me so I can wake up positive about a day.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Dresser Fit For A Prince

In big apartment buildings here in the Netherlands, there's often a dumpster/castoff room in the basement where people take their trash or unwanted stuff. Other people can take things, or the trash gets picked up later. 

Yesterday while babysitting I just HAPPENED to go down to the basement to recycle paper, and found an adorable baby changing table/dresser. I'm not normally a big furniture person, or fancy person at all. D and I are both really down-to-earth and frugal - we tend to save our money, or use it on plane tickets for family and experiences and not on stuff. And we have honestly just been planning to use mostly multipurpose stuff when possible for the baby, because why would we spend thousands of euros for baby cribs etc. when we can borrow them or buy them second-hand....

 All that to say, our whole (tiny) apartment is very simple and pretty but not expensive, and we like it that way, plus the baby won't care  We don't even have a second bedroom, and while the baby would be sleeping near us the first few months for feedings anyway, I still feel kind of sheepish when people ask, "Have you fixed up a nursery all cute?" And we will probably move in the next year or so and have a baby/kid bedroom then. But right now, no, we haven't painted an adorable bedroom and filled it with stenciled walls and stuffed animals. And sometimes I feel like I'm just the tiniest bit not going to be a good mom because I'm not putting all that work and time and money into a too-cute baby room. 

And then I found this dresser yesterday, and totally fell in love with it (and I told that to my sister and she kind of laughed at me- "I've never heard you say you fell in love with furniture before. Pregnancy makes you interesting." Which is totally true - I do get more easily emotional about stuff these days.) And at first I messaged D that I thought we could take this dresser, and was all excited. And then I realized how big it was and that it was just impractical to try to lug up all the flights of stairs to our apartment, especially since I'm not supposed to lift heavy things. Plus we have a PERFECTLY FINE dresser that we were going to use. So I messaged D, "Never mind, it wouldn't work. No big deal," and tried not to be disappointed. Because it's not a big deal, right? And I hadn't even thought of putting 'cute baby furniture' on my to-buy (or dreaming about) list, because I knew we'd find or inherit something practical. No need to get all emotional.

And then D messaged back that he was willing to come in the car and we could pick the dresser up... no frills in his simple message, just a "sure, not a problem. we'll bring the car and get it." So we came back and got it, just like that. And it took a lot of wrestling because we also have a tiny car, and narrow stairways, but D made sure I was only helping lightly and not straining... and now it's sitting in our bedroom and looks oh so beautiful. I couldn't sleep before I wiped any dust out and put some newborn clothes in one of the drawers, just to see how it looked. And I only felt slightly silly, but super grateful for the God-smile of giving us something so luxurious that we didn't NEED, at all... but is so adorable. 

I feel like it says, "Welcome, little baby  We are so excited about you coming, even if we don't spend a ton of money on all the fancy modern baby bedrooms and toys and clothes." Which may be totally silly, and I know that the baby and D and I would still be just as happy if we were one of those cool trekking families that lives out of backpacks and travels across China or Africa. But for now, I'm just really really really excited about this dresser, which matches our room well and smells like fresh wood and is way cuter than anything I was counting on getting....