DutchInLaw

If you're a female and you don't get enough sleep, you can choose to look like a zombie, or like a pretty zombie. Since most males don't wear makeup, they don't have this choice. Then again, since society doesn't hold males to the same standards it holds females, males don't have to wonder at all about whether they resemble zombies.

            1 November                 Me at 5am: You are sleepy, my son. Search your feelings, you know it to be true. 4 November  My apologies to all the sleeping neighbors who were awoken by a happily screeching pterodactyl. On the bright side, the early mornings mean extra reading time of books from wonderful pterodactyl aunts.... 7 November Hearthfire on, vanilla latte, cuddlebaby falling asleep on our lap to Trans-Siberian Orchestra.   ‪#‎ urbanwinter‬ 11 November  My child, do not resist, for such is the way of the world. When thy mother is cold, thee must wear a coat. 13 November A little concerned that when I search 'baby' on the supermarket website, one of the suggestions is "Turkey stuffed with apple and sage." 14 November Me: This would be a great moment for you to take a nap Captai...

Bugs on a head of lettuce. Third World solution: Be grateful for fresh greens! Wash bugs off (or pick bugs off if there's water rationing.) Savour every mouthful. Second World solution: Post a picture to Facebook to get some sympathy. Wash lettuce three times and gingerly eat half of it. First World solution: Drive to store and complain until they refund your money. Stop for drive-through lunch on the way back. Throw the lettuce in the trash.