DutchInLaw

Somewhere I have a photo of an over-full sock drawer. Or I might have deleted it because it was just too demotivating. Instead you get a picture of shoes of me and one of the sock owners. It so happened that I spent nearly a year as a nanny for three adorable little girls. We had lots of fun together, and the photo is from a day when we all went to the park to feed ducks. The thing about going on an adventure is that you generally have to wear shoes.

You become a mother, and you start looking around at other mothers who are doing it better. They make all the baby food from scratch. Create fantastic, imagination-stimulating nurseries in coordinating colours. Maybe even sew baby clothes from organic cotton.  A feeling of inferiority sets in. It's known in modern terms as "mommy guilt." Based on the amount of magazine articles, blogs, and web pages it's hugely prevalent. The cure, if there is one, seems to just be to remind yourself that you're doing the best you can for your child. And that all the other mothers are doing the same thing, so it's not worth comparing. Do what you can and don't worry about the rest. If you want to get better, take baby steps - don't give up just because you're still in progress. Enough is enough for now. 

One of the things I noticed while I continue my house hunt is that I'm very focused on us and on what we want.  Is there a garden for me? A play place for Pippin? Room for a workbench for Faramir? Can we all enjoy our hobbies and follow our passions? Is the neighborhood safe for us? Can I go running and not be paranoid? Can Pippin go out to play at a park when he's older?

Some days, being a stay-at-home-mom bothers me.  Some days I miss being able to just escape the house without having to bring extra diapers, an increasingly heavy Pippin, and a carrier or buggy. Some days I miss being able to move around the house and make noise without having to take naps into account.