Tuesday, February 10, 2015

The Happy At Home Moments

Some days, being a stay-at-home-mom bothers me. 

Some days I miss being able to just escape the house without having to bring extra diapers, an increasingly heavy Pippin, and a carrier or buggy.

Some days I miss being able to move around the house and make noise without having to take naps into account.

Some days I miss being able to have colleagues or bosses and actually accomplish a to-do list more exciting that "Cook dinner, get a shower, sweep living room, keep Pippin fed, and try to finish a book draft while he's napping."

And there are other random moments of frustration. It would be so much easier, in some ways, if he went to a daycare or had a nanny. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, and not be constantly on the alert for sharp edges and a hungry or tired mood.

But there are so many moments that I get to experience that I wouldn't if he stayed at a kinderopvang or with an oppas throughout the week.

The day a few weeks ago when he got his limbs coordinated and could move forwards instead of just in circles. I tried, but a video just couldn't capture the concentration on his face and the wiggling of his little bum in the air as he scooted for a toy. (And then the fun of his Dutch oma and opa visiting and seeing him crawl.)

The moment yesterday when he figured out how to make smacking/kissing noises and we got on Skype to show his grandmother.

The day at the 4.5 month mark when Faramir noticed that there was a little white bump on Pippin's gums... which turned into a tooth! And then the next day I noticed another one! Granted, that was on a weekend, but I had all week to admire them.

Pippin learning to turn book pages by himself.

Pippin figuring out how to grab his pacifier and stick it in his mouth so I don't have to get up during the night. (We tried weaning him off it, and had a blissful week or two of sleep before he started waking and howling again, no idea why. So the pacifier is back.)

Pippin figuring out how to pull off his socks and chew on them when we didn't give him a pacifier.

Pippin figuring out how the game of peekaboo works and laughing his head off every time Faramir steps out from behind a door.

Pippin making horrible faces the first time we feed him green beans, cereal, and pumpkin.

Pippin realising what the funny ringing sound on Mumma's computer means and bouncing in my arms in excitement when he gets to Skype with relatives.

This morning I was sitting on the floor on a grey cold morning, tired of this winter and us not finding a new house. Tired of not having motivation to get stuff done. Knowing that tomorrow I have fun plans but that today would be a long lonely day of just me and Pippin.

And then Pippin scooted over to his water bottle with handles, picked it up, and proceeded to drink out of it, all by himself. I laughed, because every time that we try to get him to drink from it, he may volunteer a hand for support but is more likely to let it droop. Then he looks at us with confused eyes and makes little noises until we tilt it to his mouth. But now, obviously, he's figured out how to do it on his own. 

Instead of hearing about these moments from someone else, I get to see them with my own eyes.

I know there will be moments I miss through the years, and I know that I would still get to see many of them even if he had a different caregiver. But I love that I get to be here for so many of his 'firsts' as he grows as a baby. And there are still so many to come. First steps. First words. First time that he eats banana without spitting it out.

Pippin, I can't wait to see what you learn next. 

Except the diaper pail lid. Come back here. You don't need to learn how to open that.

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